Monday, December 20, 2010

Trying to adjust..

Flying into Amsterdam was crazy. The first thing that hit me is how much everyone looks alike. When we were in Uganda we could all tell each other apart cause we were the Mzungu's in the midst of tons of Africans. Now everyone was white, none of us stood out except in maybe what we were wearing.

I have tried to think of things before I walk into them to try to prepare myself but it is not easy. I went out to lunch with my grandma's group of friends and listening to them just angered me. The way they complained about the dumbest little things infuriated me to my core. Then they asked questions about Uganda and I answered, when they stopped liking the answers they stopped talking to me.

What really drives me crazy is when people go "Oh Uganda, wow are you SO glad to be back??" Uh no I am not SO glad to be back. It is HARD to be back. It is definitely easier for me to adjust to there than to being back. If I say that though I just get a funny look. People do not get why I would ever choose to be 'there' rather than here.

The first night I was back I saw Phil in the airport. He bought me a snapple and when we were done eating he went to throw it away. In my head I was thinking... 'don't you have to return the bottle?' My mind has to retrain itself to what goes on here not there. Then once I got to Georgia my nana, gramps, and sister picked me up. (PS bek you have NO idea how happy I was that I got to see you, you made me week - I love you). We drove back to the house and my nana made hot chocolate and toast. They all laughed at me when I quietly said... This is really good toast.... My nana just laughed at my stale-bread-blue-band-health-inspector-breakfast stories.

Then I slept in a real bed. I was honestly missing my piece of foam above Lindsay's bed, with my mosquito net up above, and listening to the grasshoppers flying around. I was freezing, and with my sister. I used internet that night. I still can't believe how fast that is working. It amazes me every day. Then I took a shower. Now that was a real revelation. I just washed my feet over and over and they have not become brown since! It is so weird to have clean feet and to just feel so clean. I miss sweating.

The next day I was back I took my sister shopping. Now I had not driven since I left. I was trying to be confident but I was unsure. We did well though. I am pretty proud of myself cause then I drove my grandma back from the Atlanta airport after taking Bekah cause it was dark, and I did pretty good I think. I came home and went through all my clothes. I had to take all my stuff out of my suitcase so my sister would have a second one to take home, and my stuff was all over the living room floor. Somehow, and I am really unsure how I ended up with three loads of laundry. I had them prewashing and extra rinsing and literally got a cup of coffee, and sat in front of them watching them get clean. When they were all done I could not believe how clean everything was. My grandma had been commenting on my brown jeans and telling me I really needed to do laundry. I told her I had handwashed them... No one was impressed.

The cold is killing me. I had to board my plan outside in DC and thought I was going to freeze right then and there. Even being in Georgia, I have been SO cold. I do not think I will ever get used to this!

One of the weirdest things about being back, is that I cannot fit into any of my clothes. I gained, a number of pounds more than I thought I did, and now the only pants I can wear are the ones I took to Uganda with me and I lost the button on one of those, so that is a definite struggle. On top of that, everything I eat makes my stomach nauseous. I have been popping tums hoping that is calms it down. I have been doing my best to eat healthy and lightly. I still have no had ice cream and for all of you that had to listen to me miss it for four months you know what that means haha.

I went shopping with my nana yesterday and it went so well. Her and I had a really good conversation about what it is like for me to be back, and why some stuff bugs me. She was really great about listening to me. She has listened to all my stories with such great interest it has meant the world to me.

Life is different, but I go back to work tomorrow at the daycare I work at and I am really excited about that. I think it will help me alot.

So... That is my adjusting so far!

1 comment:

  1. Rachel' you know we are getting dq asap on January 9th. I hope you are doing better. I miss you so much.